Extra-marital Relationship

This journal entry is especially written for myself to confirm and justify my life.
For the first time I married at the age of 31 a Filipina woman, she is 1 year senior to me. At the time of our marriage, she had already been in Japan for about 10 years and lived in many cities, 10 cities I think. Because of the immigration law which only allowed her to stay 6 months each time, she had to go back to her country repeatedly. Actually she knew much more than I did when it comes to Japan's cities. She just fed up with repeating go home and come back during 10 years stay and as is almost always the same as other Filipinas and other Asian women, she had eagerly wanted to marry a young prosperous Japanese guy like me. She asked me to marry her again and again and again, then finally I admitted getting married to her.
After just 1 year and 3 month of our marriage, we separated. Later she went to the United States and after more than 5 years or so now she got a green card two years ago. Now she lives near Cisco.
6 month after we separated, I got married another woman. She is Japanese. 3 years junior to me. Our relationship continued just 2 years and 3 months, then we separated again.
1 year after our separation, I found another woman, 4 years senior to me, divorced once in the past. We lived together about 1 year or so, that time not married and again separated.
More than 5 years have past since I started living by myself, but of course I've got girlfriends - now 3 I think. When I want to see, I call one of them. Oftentimes one of them makes a phone call, then I go to see the one who called me.
Especially in the case of second one, I was very depressed soon after she left me. I wanted to divorce her soon after she left, but things were not so easy at that time. Money matter. She requested me to pay alimony at least $30000.
At that time I thought it was not my fault. Because I was not only the one who had committed an extra-marital relationship, but she was also the one.
For more than five years I've paid maintenance for her usually $500-$700. Of course no relationship anymore, just sending money in her account. And that makes me prevent seeking for another marriage, because for another marriage it requires money a lot.
I guess for women marriage means almost everything, while it means for a man just a part of our life. The importance of marriage is different between women and men. So...
Mr johndiii, because you had spent 20 years in marriage, you have to prepare for huge amount of alimony. Whatever the cause of divorce, men have to take responsibity for their part. On the first marriage, no, on the second marriage, yes, I had an extra-marital relatonship, but the problem was that I failed to pay attention to her, give her a satisfaction in several meanings - physically, financially, which eventually led to her leaving my place for good.
So I believe an extra-marital relationship itself is not bad. What I think is bad is I didn't take care of her, I lost interest on her and our relationship. I think it's not bad to have two or three extra-marital relationships just to keep a marital relationship good. Both men and women are horny, but men tend to disperse their interest to more than two, while women are more concentrating only one.
I reflect if only I had a balance between extra-marital and marital relationship, I didn't have to have an extra burden in my life.
Anyhow, I divorced. Right now, I have been getting along with three women without letting them known the existence of others, I mean striking a balance. So far no problem.
Your wife left your house, I think you don't have to feel specifically particular about legal procedure - divorce, unless you have someone who you want to have a serious relationship including marriage with right now, just remind you that in my case, soon after I divorced, I went to see then my 4 year older girlfriend- actually she wanted me to divorce and I did it quickly replying her request. She said she has no benefit for a marriage to me, rather she wants to enjoy being single instead. She wanted to enjoy with nice guys as many as possible. Yeah, yes I admit. That is also pleasurable part of our life.