Death

Death
2006.07.13 1:51

What is sleep? It is like death. Sleep is useless. -Da Vinci
For me there's no similarity between sleep and death, though, there is a connection between death and separation. She lives in my memory only from her age 15 to 23. After last time we met in Trecca, she left my mind for good. Definitely she is alive somewhere with someone. But for me her death took place when we were 25 or 23. She has been dead since then. So even if she might be alive or dead, it has nothing to do with my life. Her death took place before her natural death.
I lived with my ex-ex-girlfriend from 1999 to 2001 for about two years. For those two years she was alive in my life everyday. But after we separated, she hasn't been a part of my life, she's dead before her natural death.
I'm a writer. I wrote tens of thousands of manuscripts back from age 10. Manuscripts from age 10 to 11 remains in my notebook, but manuscripts from 14 to 16 were gone forever, so even though my writing carrer was lasting from 10 to 16, I must say I was dead from 14 to 16, since no writings left, no life. Literary speaking I only lived from 10 to 11 and 16 to 19.
From age 20 to 38, I hadn't left anything written in any language, so again I had been dead for 18 years. Abruptly I started writing from 38 to now, so I am alive for these 8 years. Many ordinary people stop working around 60 and retired. After their retirement, some people only exist for existing purposes. some time after their retirement, they will die. But their death took place before their natural death. Oftentimes their natural death doesn't mean anything for us. Many people are dead before their natural death.