Desert In Love

She was the fourth girl who's accompanied with me since I started having romantic relations with any woman for the first time at age 30. Before 30, I just kept on failing to have any physical relations with any woman. I mean my chastity kept on till age 30. I mean I was unable to break out the cocoon of my own realm till age 30. So throughout my 20s, I had been always alone, spending all day &night long only either in my study or in library reading tens of thousands of books exactly literally.

So I think I just got back to what I used to be 20 years ago.

It was spring 2000 when I separated with my third love, I met my fourth one in summer 2003 so for more than 3 full years I hadn't have a girl friend, and I hardly remember what I was doing during these three years. Regardless of whether we have a girl friend or not, we are just unable to have a meaningful life in either case. I think as long as we seek for truth in women, we were unable to find solutions. Solution to life located somewhere other than in girls.

Nevertheless I seek for girls, therefore life is meaningful.