Last night I met with Eri my only love for the first time in more than three weeks. I think two times in a month are enough for us to maintain a good relationship since we live in a distant place it's hard for us to see every day or every other day.
Thanks Eri, I can keep on being normal by having date with you.
Because we don't see often, our date only concentrate on physical one. I tried to unite 7 times but in 7 times she refused to let me in. Then after a long persistent stroke on her, she finally accept me but only find to fail. I was unable to keep on the time she got ready. Because we don't see often, it is also hard for us to be in perfect accordance with each other at the same time. But any way, our love deepened than before. Good sign.
I often think love is like a player plays the tune of instrument, manytimes I am a player and she is an instrument, and sometimes our role changes. But basic point for making love is to listen to the sound of our music. It is of course unable to hear, but we can feel from it. Then only two knows how our resonance is good or bad, so far our relationship has been keeping on for nearly 2 years. Now I feel we are somehow satisfied with each other.
I can definitely tell so, because... I am always a player, not a instrument. As long as I am the one who plays, she never fails to feel satisfied. 'Thanks, thanks.', she whispered so repeatedly...
Saturday, August 20, 2005
The Fate of Writers
Once I had attempted to have a lecture on my own without being asked by anybody at School Festival when I was 23 - I was still a sophomore. Of course I was still a student, though I was known to be something I was not the only one who was particularly distinguished, I made a big board, and made a poster then I stood upright the board so that anyone can see I have a speech or rather a lecture- because it was academic. The title of the lecture was 'The Perspective of Contemporary Thought.'
I was not expecting to have much audience though, I was just amazed to find 'no one ' when I was supposed to start the lecture. I was really perplexed. Five minutes passed. Although I was suspecting, I was unable to say anything in front of anyone. When I was ready to retreat from the room, someone was watching through the window. I said 'come, come'. He seemed to be not willing to come but saying 'I was able to read one philosopher's name that had me curious'. Enough reason to come and listen to my lecture, so I was able to start my first self-claimed lecture. One and a half hour, I was eloquently had a lecture only for him, to have only one person was just enough and fine to me.
Once Mishima wrote in his 'Murderer's Diary', which was written in his 18 years old, ' Murderer is thought to be dead when he is understood. ' Murderer is a killer, a nihilist, a destroyer. When he is understood, he cannot keep on being a destroyer.
Writers are a humanist. They are an antithesis of nihilists. He keeps on writing as long as he can have only one reader. To have only one reader was just enough and fine to a writer. This is the fate of writers.
I was not expecting to have much audience though, I was just amazed to find 'no one ' when I was supposed to start the lecture. I was really perplexed. Five minutes passed. Although I was suspecting, I was unable to say anything in front of anyone. When I was ready to retreat from the room, someone was watching through the window. I said 'come, come'. He seemed to be not willing to come but saying 'I was able to read one philosopher's name that had me curious'. Enough reason to come and listen to my lecture, so I was able to start my first self-claimed lecture. One and a half hour, I was eloquently had a lecture only for him, to have only one person was just enough and fine to me.
Once Mishima wrote in his 'Murderer's Diary', which was written in his 18 years old, ' Murderer is thought to be dead when he is understood. ' Murderer is a killer, a nihilist, a destroyer. When he is understood, he cannot keep on being a destroyer.
Writers are a humanist. They are an antithesis of nihilists. He keeps on writing as long as he can have only one reader. To have only one reader was just enough and fine to a writer. This is the fate of writers.
Love Online
I usually work 60 hours a week. But if it exceeds 8 hours or 16 hours more as I did in the Golden Week, my job comes to be no joke. So I am unable to see her when I really need to take a rest. Since we live in different cities, it would be no easy to see in such hectic weeks.
Love online..in such cases we only love online. Love between two people are really questioned when two have to be separated. I think I could feel her deep affection to me. I have to feel satisfied only with this and I will welcome another morning alone...
After 10 hours, I felt rejuvenated. I'm looking forward to another occasion...
Love online..in such cases we only love online. Love between two people are really questioned when two have to be separated. I think I could feel her deep affection to me. I have to feel satisfied only with this and I will welcome another morning alone...
After 10 hours, I felt rejuvenated. I'm looking forward to another occasion...
Privatisation of War
Mercenary - famous for this old and new word is French Foreign Legion, founded in 1831, no religion, no nationality, no age are required for us to be hired but our experience, technic, willing to fight, morale are questioned. But now it's Private Military Company that replaced the role of Foreign Legion. After the end of Cold War, lots of personels who were engaged in state security lost their jobs. Some of them built a private security company. In the age of war on terror, their role has been reevaluated.
Mr Sato is one of them. Born in 1961, one year senior to me, entered the parachute battalion -elitest in Japan's self defence force at age 18, spent 2 years there then entered French Foreign Legion. He served there for 21 years then last year he came to Iraq where lately he was captured.
Originally the number of American personels deployed in Iraq was 155000. For some reason or other, the number decreased to 138000. According to the sources, 40% of American troops there are from State soldiers and reservists. Apparently some of them are less equipped and trained than the Regular Army. On the other hands, modern mercenaries like him hired by a Private Military Company, are well experienced and trained, because many are from ex-military personels, they know the ropes how to deal with the current situation in Iraq. They are relatively well paid (300-500 sterling per day), and most importantly they came to Iraq at their own will. Important difference than the people who were conscripted. Costs to hire them must be higher, but comparing the risks US government owes to their nationals, it is much affordable.
Privatisation has already been in progress gradually even in the fields of war on terror.
Mr Sato is one of them. Born in 1961, one year senior to me, entered the parachute battalion -elitest in Japan's self defence force at age 18, spent 2 years there then entered French Foreign Legion. He served there for 21 years then last year he came to Iraq where lately he was captured.
Originally the number of American personels deployed in Iraq was 155000. For some reason or other, the number decreased to 138000. According to the sources, 40% of American troops there are from State soldiers and reservists. Apparently some of them are less equipped and trained than the Regular Army. On the other hands, modern mercenaries like him hired by a Private Military Company, are well experienced and trained, because many are from ex-military personels, they know the ropes how to deal with the current situation in Iraq. They are relatively well paid (300-500 sterling per day), and most importantly they came to Iraq at their own will. Important difference than the people who were conscripted. Costs to hire them must be higher, but comparing the risks US government owes to their nationals, it is much affordable.
Privatisation has already been in progress gradually even in the fields of war on terror.
Get Out of Peninsula
Get Out of Peninsula
Tuesday May 10, @02:00AM
[ #106331 ]
This is the name of the new novel written by Ryu Murakami. This novel is particularly interesting in that it descrives a near future society in East Asia, in 2011, and it based on my hometown Fukuoka.
In 2011, Yahoo Dome - this is a retractable dome which has 48,000 audience capacity was occupied by a group of ex-North Korean special commandoes who took hostages inside the dome insists...and so on.
Actually this dome is located so close to the Korean peninsula so it has been said to be used as a shelter for an asylum seeker or refugees from the peninsula in the event of emergency since it had founded in 20 years ago. This novel is said to describe a probable change in East Asia region including altering of national border, subsequently the role of cities change from minor to major or vice versa. Obviously national border has been changing from time to time once or twice in half a century or century, I mean it is not something absolute.
It is just highly unpredictable what would have become of the future scenario of East Asia, but I can feel a strong wind from the west where China and Korea lie in.
Tuesday May 10, @02:00AM
[ #106331 ]
This is the name of the new novel written by Ryu Murakami. This novel is particularly interesting in that it descrives a near future society in East Asia, in 2011, and it based on my hometown Fukuoka.
In 2011, Yahoo Dome - this is a retractable dome which has 48,000 audience capacity was occupied by a group of ex-North Korean special commandoes who took hostages inside the dome insists...and so on.
Actually this dome is located so close to the Korean peninsula so it has been said to be used as a shelter for an asylum seeker or refugees from the peninsula in the event of emergency since it had founded in 20 years ago. This novel is said to describe a probable change in East Asia region including altering of national border, subsequently the role of cities change from minor to major or vice versa. Obviously national border has been changing from time to time once or twice in half a century or century, I mean it is not something absolute.
It is just highly unpredictable what would have become of the future scenario of East Asia, but I can feel a strong wind from the west where China and Korea lie in.
Thanks Eri
Anyway our national holidays are ended. I survived. If it had not been for her help, my assignment would just have turned to be a hell in hell, it was certainly a season in hell though.
We need a woman to keep our life sane, normal. Like a cycle of tidal wave we need to have an orgy with a woman two or three times in a a month. I will suggest we meet on the next Friday night, she repeatedly says she needs protection, but as I repeatedly claiming I want her to have our kid. Our relation already lasts for two years, and it is likely to keep on for the next more two years. Our kid enables us to keep on our relations for good. I am determined, it is her turn.
We need a woman to keep our life sane, normal. Like a cycle of tidal wave we need to have an orgy with a woman two or three times in a a month. I will suggest we meet on the next Friday night, she repeatedly says she needs protection, but as I repeatedly claiming I want her to have our kid. Our relation already lasts for two years, and it is likely to keep on for the next more two years. Our kid enables us to keep on our relations for good. I am determined, it is her turn.
Alphabet Poem
Recently I posted a story in a Jondiii's journal, http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=145730&cid=123 37781/, in which I told Japan's alphabet forms a poem. Then here's my translation attempt.
Everybody has young days, but everyboby's gone.
My life's who's life? It's not last long.
Today I came over the deep mountain of being.
I dreamt a light dream, but now I'm sober.
Then the combination of the last letters read as ' I'm going to die without charge.'
As a matter of fact, this poem was thought to be invented by a prisoner who's accused of a crime of treason. Probably one of the greatest poets in Japan's literal history, Kakinomoto no Hitomoro, main poet of Manyoshu.
Everybody has young days, but everyboby's gone.
My life's who's life? It's not last long.
Today I came over the deep mountain of being.
I dreamt a light dream, but now I'm sober.
Then the combination of the last letters read as ' I'm going to die without charge.'
As a matter of fact, this poem was thought to be invented by a prisoner who's accused of a crime of treason. Probably one of the greatest poets in Japan's literal history, Kakinomoto no Hitomoro, main poet of Manyoshu.
Reality or Perception, Which is Prior?
Morosoph says it's reality, while I say it's perception.
"The biggest problem with physical relativism is that it entrenches a deeper and inescapable conservativism:
Physical relativism as opposed to physical absolutism contributes not only in political conservatism but political pluralism, which itself is a good system in that it allows us to have lots of various ways of thinking -we have relatively conservative view the same with liberal view, which allows us to have a multitude of the universe.
'truth' is made subservient to the power structure.
Inevitably as long as we don't have an absolute truth, it stands to reason 'truth' being foiled into power structure, 'truth' being only true of scientific, objective proof, but it has nothing to do with our personal conviction, if 'truth' were organised above in our power structure, it means a death of democracy, there are many people who hold wrong belief but they have their solemn right to live within the reach of their comprehension of the world.
I wrote a journal Reality is Singular [slashdot.org], as you know (since you wrote a reply (o: ). If evidence counts for nothing, and it would certainly count for less, then truth becomes completely swallowed by politics.
I think that's our reality. Reality includes right and wrong, truth and false, therefore many can live.
Personally, I'd be just as unhappy with the 'truth' being democratised as it being made subsevient to buisness interests, as it is at present.
I understand you surely feel unhappy at the same time some would sure to feel it's happy, as a whole striking a balance in the real world, 'truth' cannot be the rule of the real world, only in the ideal world, it might be the case. We live in a real world not an ideal world, but you can feel completely happy when you stay in a world of mathematical truth.Possibly, the democratisation of 'truth' is worse: in business, advance is still possible; democratic truth is not advanceable, since whereas business can potentially get a head start over another through superior knowledge, the misfit who knows better is a social outcast, and his/her knowledge is potentially socially disruptive.
These paragraph was an extension of your argument.
If your population is self-trained (through prevalence of such doctorine) to believe that that which is widely held in some sense should be true, then the potential disruption is so much greater, reinforcing their opposition to progress.
To some extent, some country can relatively easily form uniformity of national characteristic, but that's everywhere. But the difference between characteristics among nations are by far less than these between individuals.And again we are not talking about comparative sociology, which less interests to me.
I wish to make clear that 'truth' being subsevient to business interests would be bad indeed: look at the existing distortion of environmental science, for example.
The only way in which mavericks can reasonably be heard is for it to be accepted that reality is singular, but unknown.
There might be an objective singular reality, but so what? It's an agnosticism. Whatever the nature of reality is, it will keep on being unknown, by a viewpoint from an unknown nature of reality, what possibly can we assert for something, it's nothing. We all have to always try to verbalise what we were unable to verbalise. That's progress of human cognisance. Cognisance only matters, while reality means nothing. Wrong belief counts for something but unknown truth counts for nothing.Only then does evidence matter. Only then is society open to those who look at things differently, since they cannot be certain about what is true. Truth needs to be understood as being outside psychology."
Right.Truth needs to be understood as being outside psychology.
But truth cannot be understood as being outside psychology. Your biggest problem is you insist we have perception other than our psychology. It's not true. Our perception decides what truth is. Our psychology decides what is truth. In more secular words, what is truth differs whether we are a human or we are a bacterium, but you insist there must be a universal perception resulting in a universal truth. We are humans prior to everything. Be sure return to nature -return to the nature of humanity where our everything comes from.
"Although I claim that there must be objective truth, I don't claim that I know it either. I too need to be open to others. I too need to listen to mavericks. I need to listen to you, and to Marxist Hacker 42.
Through our dialogues, you've been learning that the humans stand prior to everything, so it's nice of you.
My comparative difficulty in empathsising means that I am lacking data that you have. MH42's alternate theory is important, although to me it looks improbable. That is the way with theories: that which fits with the rest of our mental structure appears probable, and that which doesn't does not.
I think in order to nourish an empathy with the rest of the world, first off we need to have a strong self, then the integrated character which collects all data and deduce and induce according as the nature of those data, forming our personality, if lacks anything one, we are not likely to form an integrated image, which needs from past through present to the future -concept of timeline besides from near to far -concept of space. Since all truths are based on our perception first, we don't have to feel perplexed what it is and what it represents -in other words, reality and words, in MH42's word, it's a difference between what it symbolises and what is symbol. We always have our imagination to know the reality of the universe. Imagination, reality, the universe and truth all come from our perception which is only the reflection of our poor psychology. When the ones cannot see the difference between red and blue, truth is nothing more than there's no distinction between red and blue. Red and blue only counts for those who can perceive and cognise the difference.Baysian inferencing is no escape, since the "prior probabilities" simply mirror our existing body of knowledge."
"I do believe, though, that there necessarily exists an external, objective reality so that we can all exist and communicate.
This is a little like Descartes's "I think, therefore I am"; the appropriate phrase here is something like "we communicate, therefore reality exists".
We need to communicate with each other so that we can know what reality is. Now I understand you know well how to deal with reality intrinsicly.
What that reality is, I don't know any better than you do.
Now we completely agreed.
Trilogy
Love is spiritual. I only love one woman who I'm never likely to see. Sex is physical. I've got several girl-friends, and I've never thought about none of them seriously. Marriage is economic. For those who have got a happy marriage, it is economical. But for me like divorced two times marriage only meant economic, in other words costly...
The problem was these three's never going to be the same. Love, sex, no marriage. Love, marriage , no sex. Love only. Sex only. Worst of all was marriage only. People, don't laugh.
Gays and their Impossibility of Marriage
Marriage is only possible between two opposite genders. Here marriage means a legal affair. Civil marriage, common-law marriage, religeous marriage might be OK as long as their own accordance, but I oppose to give them a legal status as well as 'legal' marriage.
Marriage means no more than economic matters. Everything is depend so there might be cases that might be better for us to admit their legal status as well as the cases held in opposite genders if they are virtually husband and wife regardless their real genders, but once we started admitting same sex marriage we will have more complicated cases as marriage between two men who's very wealthy in order to have an extreme wealth. Nobody cannot tell they are actually in liasons but themselves, so these are an extended cases of marriage of convenience.
People..return to nature...
Marriage means no more than economic matters. Everything is depend so there might be cases that might be better for us to admit their legal status as well as the cases held in opposite genders if they are virtually husband and wife regardless their real genders, but once we started admitting same sex marriage we will have more complicated cases as marriage between two men who's very wealthy in order to have an extreme wealth. Nobody cannot tell they are actually in liasons but themselves, so these are an extended cases of marriage of convenience.
People..return to nature...
Eternal Love
One Woman, her beauty, our love...Eternal Love.
Therfore I am.
I was unable to get married to the one whom I really loved, but that does not mean I will not be able to marry her from now on. As a matter of fact, I am expecting to see her later in our life.
See you then.
Therfore I am.
I was unable to get married to the one whom I really loved, but that does not mean I will not be able to marry her from now on. As a matter of fact, I am expecting to see her later in our life.
See you then.
Trecca
This is a name of coffee shop in central Kyoto in Japan, where she and I met for the first time and happened to be the last time - this might sound strange for many people. But it was a real story.
Throughout my teens and early twenties, I spent almost all my life in books. It was extremely difficult to have some meaningful relationship with not only others but with the rest of my world. People didn't understand me and I hadn't particularly have intended to let people understand me. Thus I had living in vast space and deep ditch from the people. Fortunately I had found nothing strange in my life. I had been living on my own world and I didn't want anyone to interrupt my world. But I had friends, few but certainly I had someone who are eager to understand me, three or four though they are indeed true friends.
One of four my precious friends were a woman. Pretty woman as the world goes, I agreed. Smart woman as the world goes, I disagreed. But anyway, she has been a pretty and smart girl as everyone admitted.
Though we had many occasions to see in many activities in our high school days, it was the first time since I graduated from our highly prestigeous high-school that we met in Trecca, more than 5 years had passed when we were eventually able to meet, although she was 2 years junior to me we happened to be the same grade - both 4th grade in a different university in a different cities. We had to choose what to do after we graduated - going to graduate school or getting a job...(Of course this story continues, though let me take a break, it's 4 a.m. ...)
Throughout my teens and early twenties, I spent almost all my life in books. It was extremely difficult to have some meaningful relationship with not only others but with the rest of my world. People didn't understand me and I hadn't particularly have intended to let people understand me. Thus I had living in vast space and deep ditch from the people. Fortunately I had found nothing strange in my life. I had been living on my own world and I didn't want anyone to interrupt my world. But I had friends, few but certainly I had someone who are eager to understand me, three or four though they are indeed true friends.
One of four my precious friends were a woman. Pretty woman as the world goes, I agreed. Smart woman as the world goes, I disagreed. But anyway, she has been a pretty and smart girl as everyone admitted.
Though we had many occasions to see in many activities in our high school days, it was the first time since I graduated from our highly prestigeous high-school that we met in Trecca, more than 5 years had passed when we were eventually able to meet, although she was 2 years junior to me we happened to be the same grade - both 4th grade in a different university in a different cities. We had to choose what to do after we graduated - going to graduate school or getting a job...(Of course this story continues, though let me take a break, it's 4 a.m. ...)
Friday, August 19, 2005
Graffiti
1991 - - I was travelling Germany from Heidelberg, upper Reine via Frankfurt-am-Mein to Berlin, at that time already unified capital of whole Germany. I was just seeing the scenes of Berlin from the train, then I started noticing lots of graffiti drawn on the wall. Some were art and the others were slogans, lettering, all were anyway arts, indeed very good arts.
Then I gradually noticed those were the part of the Berlin Wall, already no use, abondoned one.
Berlin Wall was a sign of divided country - which devided not only flow of materials, people but mind of people living both sides, besides it was accesible to citizens if they tried to approach, they were subject to being killed, no one might have imagined writing scribbles or painting arts on the wall... It must have been just unimaginable...
But the times go by, Wall was suddenly discarded and then everyone enjoyed writing what they want to write or draw. Graffiti was a sign of their freedom as opposed to symbol of oppressed regimes.
People enjoy freedom and draw graffiti on the wall. Now I am watching someone's -maybe groups of juvenile delinquent drew scribbles and hardly artistic signs on the show window abandoned, it was previously a premise of Fukuoka co-operatives, kinds of supermarket only for members of co-operatives, but because of its narrow-sightedness who to accept as their customers -they only accepted members, not the general public, their sales were fell and finally closed-down. Now only ruins of building can be seen.
If those who wrote these graffitti were really juvenile delinquent, they must have broken all the glass of windows, but they had not. Instead they drew graffiti. For those who hold this building, it must be uneasy to be drawn though it was better than being broken... Permissable act as far as I can see.
Besides I was able to read very good psedo-proverb, which says, 'Be careful not to do "it" too much'. True enough...
Then I gradually noticed those were the part of the Berlin Wall, already no use, abondoned one.
Berlin Wall was a sign of divided country - which devided not only flow of materials, people but mind of people living both sides, besides it was accesible to citizens if they tried to approach, they were subject to being killed, no one might have imagined writing scribbles or painting arts on the wall... It must have been just unimaginable...
But the times go by, Wall was suddenly discarded and then everyone enjoyed writing what they want to write or draw. Graffiti was a sign of their freedom as opposed to symbol of oppressed regimes.
People enjoy freedom and draw graffiti on the wall. Now I am watching someone's -maybe groups of juvenile delinquent drew scribbles and hardly artistic signs on the show window abandoned, it was previously a premise of Fukuoka co-operatives, kinds of supermarket only for members of co-operatives, but because of its narrow-sightedness who to accept as their customers -they only accepted members, not the general public, their sales were fell and finally closed-down. Now only ruins of building can be seen.
If those who wrote these graffitti were really juvenile delinquent, they must have broken all the glass of windows, but they had not. Instead they drew graffiti. For those who hold this building, it must be uneasy to be drawn though it was better than being broken... Permissable act as far as I can see.
Besides I was able to read very good psedo-proverb, which says, 'Be careful not to do "it" too much'. True enough...
The Unbearable Lightness of Being
I am 43-year-old, middle aged teacher of social studies in a technical college here in Fukuoka, 1.3 million population, centre of sourthern paradise. Besides I'm working in many companies, so my working hours counts up to around 60 hours, oh boy, it's too heavy, of course sometimes I think I can work more, but for myself and for the sake of my loves, I just refrain from working more than stated hours.
I separated my ex-wife 8 years ago. Since then I have been in relation with many women, because I have never said good-by to any of them, I can see 3 or 4 girls always when I want them on demand.
Light, indeed light. ...In my teens, I was unable to talk to any girls for fear I might be ignored, or made light of by them or something. Whole in my twenties, I refrained from having romantic relationship with any women - I led an exactly abstinent life for fear I might lose enough time to read books - virtually I spent 7 years, from 21 years old to 27 years old, I read as many books as possible, in my early twenties, in my domestic language, later in my late twenies, in the language right now I use. I went to the library 9 o'clock in the morning, then I come back home 5 o'clock in the evening. Where I read almost all books the library holds -exaggerating though, I liked to read 'classics'. But anyway, I started working at the age of 27 first in a junior high school, later high school, now technical college.
It was not until I came to 30 when I started coming around to 'club' or 'foreigner's bar'. In my thirties, I married two times, lived together almost all years with someone, I had taken it for granted that I live with someone, but how about now? I have 'several girls to go' but with none of them I am serious.
Light, indeed light. I cannot bear this lightness of being in my life. It might be the same as girls now I have relations with, I know none of them 'love' me seriously, neither did I.
Is the unbearable of lightess of being so common these days America? Here I have lost almost all my affections, but still ' I love, therefore I am'. Only in vain but this emptiness is waiting for me tomorrow again. In reference, see Lena Olin, in the movie.
I separated my ex-wife 8 years ago. Since then I have been in relation with many women, because I have never said good-by to any of them, I can see 3 or 4 girls always when I want them on demand.
Light, indeed light. ...In my teens, I was unable to talk to any girls for fear I might be ignored, or made light of by them or something. Whole in my twenties, I refrained from having romantic relationship with any women - I led an exactly abstinent life for fear I might lose enough time to read books - virtually I spent 7 years, from 21 years old to 27 years old, I read as many books as possible, in my early twenties, in my domestic language, later in my late twenies, in the language right now I use. I went to the library 9 o'clock in the morning, then I come back home 5 o'clock in the evening. Where I read almost all books the library holds -exaggerating though, I liked to read 'classics'. But anyway, I started working at the age of 27 first in a junior high school, later high school, now technical college.
It was not until I came to 30 when I started coming around to 'club' or 'foreigner's bar'. In my thirties, I married two times, lived together almost all years with someone, I had taken it for granted that I live with someone, but how about now? I have 'several girls to go' but with none of them I am serious.
Light, indeed light. I cannot bear this lightness of being in my life. It might be the same as girls now I have relations with, I know none of them 'love' me seriously, neither did I.
Is the unbearable of lightess of being so common these days America? Here I have lost almost all my affections, but still ' I love, therefore I am'. Only in vain but this emptiness is waiting for me tomorrow again. In reference, see Lena Olin, in the movie.
The University of Tokyo
The University of Tokyo is the most prestigious university in Japan, ranked 16th in the world top academies had been regarded the citadel of Marxist economy, especially in its economics department - I am not sure now.
Mr Seiji Tsutsumi, one of the older brothers of arrested ex-chairman Mr Yoshiaki Tsutsumi, has been much rather known as a poet among literaly people than a president of the major department store, entered the Japan Communist Party shortly after he went to the University of Tokyo.
Almost all government officials are Tokyo University graduates, that's why Japan had taken a form of bureaucrat socialism, in other words, state-led capitalism whose features are planned economy, I guess I'm not sure.
Mr Seiji Tsutsumi, one of the older brothers of arrested ex-chairman Mr Yoshiaki Tsutsumi, has been much rather known as a poet among literaly people than a president of the major department store, entered the Japan Communist Party shortly after he went to the University of Tokyo.
Almost all government officials are Tokyo University graduates, that's why Japan had taken a form of bureaucrat socialism, in other words, state-led capitalism whose features are planned economy, I guess I'm not sure.
Wand
Nippon Long-Term Credit Bank was under heavy financial injection from public fund - mainly tax slightly before it went to bankrupt in 1999. The total sum of public fund injection went up to $80,000,000,000(confirmed). For all the effort government made, this bank went to bankrupt.
Amazingly this bank was bought shortly afterwards by Ripplewood Holdings by $10,000,000(confirmed).
So one of the most powerful investment funds bought the company in cheapest possible price in comparison to the original asset value. It was very liable to the M&A by the investment bank, because it was too huge for anyone to buy it.
Here I am seeing three colossuses - the Fukuoka Dome, the Fukuoka Tower, and the Hotel - all are landmarks of the city located near the sea in which the hotel and the dome were already bought by Colony Capital, also one of the most powerful investment funds bought those landmarks, after the owner of those facilities went bankrupt.
However much they had spent money for building those facilities, they had no choice but to sell because they were bankrupt. There were no companies like Colony Capital that could buy those facilities.
300 cases of M&A by foreign investment funds are reported in 2004, used to be only 2 or 3 cases some 10 years ago.
This time Lehman Brothers could be an owner of Japanese media giant, the consequences of battle over the possesion are yet to be seen.
Amazingly this bank was bought shortly afterwards by Ripplewood Holdings by $10,000,000(confirmed).
So one of the most powerful investment funds bought the company in cheapest possible price in comparison to the original asset value. It was very liable to the M&A by the investment bank, because it was too huge for anyone to buy it.
Here I am seeing three colossuses - the Fukuoka Dome, the Fukuoka Tower, and the Hotel - all are landmarks of the city located near the sea in which the hotel and the dome were already bought by Colony Capital, also one of the most powerful investment funds bought those landmarks, after the owner of those facilities went bankrupt.
However much they had spent money for building those facilities, they had no choice but to sell because they were bankrupt. There were no companies like Colony Capital that could buy those facilities.
300 cases of M&A by foreign investment funds are reported in 2004, used to be only 2 or 3 cases some 10 years ago.
This time Lehman Brothers could be an owner of Japanese media giant, the consequences of battle over the possesion are yet to be seen.
China Connection
Here's a story in the second smallest city - Yamada City, whose population is just 8000. Once the city was prosperous only because it was the largest coal-mining centre at a time still coal was considered one of the major energies, which later replaced in oil. In order to carry the coals the country built railways a lot. One of them ran across the city, but it was already abolished in 1989. Now we could only see the ruins of it, at least by last October.
Three guys started taking away the rail where tunnel covers- which lasted 2 months then they could remove the rail of 3,600 metres. People who witnessed the scene just thought that the city officials' getting rid of them in the hope of reconstructing something, but actually it was not.
It was not untill someone called the city whether to have removed the rails that they realised the rail was stolen by somebody. For them concerned, it was completely out of the blue once in a blue moon. Just they were amazed - total sum of 170 tons of steel over 3,600 metres where tunnel covered was disappeared.
Shortly after the police search, three men were arrested. They live near the site.
According to the sources concerned, the price of steel has been jumping up from twice to three times, because China has been importing so many oils and steels in order to catch up with its one of the most amazingly fast rapid rising economy, 9.5% in 2004, so 1 ton of scraps of steel can be bought around $210, besides the steel of rail is so fine that they can be sold more than $210. Actually three men carried 170 tos of 'fine' steel which could be sold in $40,000 ($230 per ton, slightly more than average price of scrap), which was not a bad idea for three men to 'work' in two months. Their work was done in a daytime, so noboby felt it's strange. But what we consider it's strange was they carried the rail inside the tunnel. At least it shows they had realised they were doing something wrong, reflecting a piece of conscience anyway.
It was a crime for three men to remove the rail, but it was a deserted rail. Their deed was against the criminal code, but it was in accordance with how to make use of the deserted facilities left unused, indeed it is a great idea to remove the deserted rail in order to sell China which has been desperately in need of steel.
We'd better not send three men to jail, instead, why not send them to a city congress to be representatives of city's benefit. This incident also shows how city officials know nothing to utilise their asset left untouched. It would be a great idea for them to embrace three men's 'good' idea on how to utilise assets like this.
Their removed rail was to connect with destination China, only to find them in jail, but in fact their idea is to connect with China in future. - Their China connection starts now.
Three guys started taking away the rail where tunnel covers- which lasted 2 months then they could remove the rail of 3,600 metres. People who witnessed the scene just thought that the city officials' getting rid of them in the hope of reconstructing something, but actually it was not.
It was not untill someone called the city whether to have removed the rails that they realised the rail was stolen by somebody. For them concerned, it was completely out of the blue once in a blue moon. Just they were amazed - total sum of 170 tons of steel over 3,600 metres where tunnel covered was disappeared.
Shortly after the police search, three men were arrested. They live near the site.
According to the sources concerned, the price of steel has been jumping up from twice to three times, because China has been importing so many oils and steels in order to catch up with its one of the most amazingly fast rapid rising economy, 9.5% in 2004, so 1 ton of scraps of steel can be bought around $210, besides the steel of rail is so fine that they can be sold more than $210. Actually three men carried 170 tos of 'fine' steel which could be sold in $40,000 ($230 per ton, slightly more than average price of scrap), which was not a bad idea for three men to 'work' in two months. Their work was done in a daytime, so noboby felt it's strange. But what we consider it's strange was they carried the rail inside the tunnel. At least it shows they had realised they were doing something wrong, reflecting a piece of conscience anyway.
It was a crime for three men to remove the rail, but it was a deserted rail. Their deed was against the criminal code, but it was in accordance with how to make use of the deserted facilities left unused, indeed it is a great idea to remove the deserted rail in order to sell China which has been desperately in need of steel.
We'd better not send three men to jail, instead, why not send them to a city congress to be representatives of city's benefit. This incident also shows how city officials know nothing to utilise their asset left untouched. It would be a great idea for them to embrace three men's 'good' idea on how to utilise assets like this.
Their removed rail was to connect with destination China, only to find them in jail, but in fact their idea is to connect with China in future. - Their China connection starts now.
The Culture of Paper
I started writing my journal in Slashdot since last October, 2004. But as a matter of fact, I had been writing diary in my notebooks at that time, it never hit upon I was able to write my journal in Internet site like this.
I started writing my diary since April, 1999. Then two years ago it was already 37 notebooks- 30 sheets( 60 pages ), B4, so I started picking out relatively good stuffs in the hope of editing a book, which only counted 647 in 85 pages.
Some of them might be good, but most of all were just a scrible or something.
It's interesting, seems nobody saw it- my edited one, but I was careful enough not to mention what I am not supposed to write. I have only two copies, there's no guaranty my stuffs will be left for someone to see in the future. I had already noticed what I wrote down is different from what I came up in my mind. Self-sensored I think, though nobody seems to see.
Apart from that, in my high teens, I publicised my writings 3 times. In 1977 -1350 copies, in 1979 -1350 copies, the last one was in 1981 only 100 copies. Of course I hold a few copies of all of them, but almost all must be gone somewhere. Compared to the e-culture what we have now, the culture of paper seems very fragile.
I started writing my diary since April, 1999. Then two years ago it was already 37 notebooks- 30 sheets( 60 pages ), B4, so I started picking out relatively good stuffs in the hope of editing a book, which only counted 647 in 85 pages.
Some of them might be good, but most of all were just a scrible or something.
It's interesting, seems nobody saw it- my edited one, but I was careful enough not to mention what I am not supposed to write. I have only two copies, there's no guaranty my stuffs will be left for someone to see in the future. I had already noticed what I wrote down is different from what I came up in my mind. Self-sensored I think, though nobody seems to see.
Apart from that, in my high teens, I publicised my writings 3 times. In 1977 -1350 copies, in 1979 -1350 copies, the last one was in 1981 only 100 copies. Of course I hold a few copies of all of them, but almost all must be gone somewhere. Compared to the e-culture what we have now, the culture of paper seems very fragile.
Double Bind
Last Tuesday I was asked to come to a club by a so-called pretty woman. Of course I was glad to take her to a bar all at my expense. As is always the case as everybody - many ordinary guys, I like a pretty woman. But in my experience a pretty woman is usually of hubris, because she knows she is highly likely to be loved by many guys, she tends to make light of my dedications to her, I mean however hard I love her, she tends to ignore me my love, besides, she will be asked by many guys - especially powerful guys - economically affluent, vocationally respectable, relatively handsome guys - to have date with her. Indeed only because of her appearance, she's got much more than an ordinary woman by nature.
So the problem is I am not as powerful as I can keep her as my girl-friend. Soon after she started romantic relationships with me, she realised I was unable to give her enough satifaction, so she start looking for another guy to start another relationship with. That makes me unsecured, but I have no way to prevent her from getting in touch with another more prosperous guy.
So naturally I tend to choose less pretty woman rather than fairly pretty one, which causes me another dissatisfaction.
Whichever I chose, the problems lay in my sides. ...Middle Aged Deliquent like me ... Just sorrow.
When we left the bar, as is always the case as me - not others maybe, I asked her to go to a hotel to sleep with me, she said, 'some day in future if we can keep on this good friendly based relationship'.
We all men are always deceived by a gentle word of a 'pretty' woman like her. But it was mysterious I was able to be encouraged a lot by her. I expect next time.
So the problem is I am not as powerful as I can keep her as my girl-friend. Soon after she started romantic relationships with me, she realised I was unable to give her enough satifaction, so she start looking for another guy to start another relationship with. That makes me unsecured, but I have no way to prevent her from getting in touch with another more prosperous guy.
So naturally I tend to choose less pretty woman rather than fairly pretty one, which causes me another dissatisfaction.
Whichever I chose, the problems lay in my sides. ...Middle Aged Deliquent like me ... Just sorrow.
When we left the bar, as is always the case as me - not others maybe, I asked her to go to a hotel to sleep with me, she said, 'some day in future if we can keep on this good friendly based relationship'.
We all men are always deceived by a gentle word of a 'pretty' woman like her. But it was mysterious I was able to be encouraged a lot by her. I expect next time.
Fixer
It was already 5 years ago...My former former girl-friend was a rich woman, actually she was 4 years senior to me, she taught me everything from traditional business customs to how to satisfy a woman that I made the most of later in my 'love' life... She or rather her family runs a company and a high-school, a high-school any one can enter... anyway she owns a high-school.
In late 80s, we had heard the news that the school was about to close-down because of the difficulties of running a school business, then it had been about to close...Later when I lived with her for one year, she told me in a bed that she decided to go to see Ryoichi Sasakawa-visit Wikipedia if you are interested-. He was well-known especially in the role in China at war, he collected tens of millions of wealth from Chinese households and sent to Japan, he was a head of Sasakawa organisation, later this fund was called M-fund (mysterious fund? I think).
She went to see him in his Tokyo home with wearing very expensive kimono( 30 thousand dollars )and asked him to help her financially over running the school. She must be just in early thirties, she must have been very beautiful...When she met him he was swinging a Japanese sword .. that impressed her a lot according to her.
Anyway by her asking, the school were survived and still the school was standing on the infamous hill where many drop-outs can enter.
There's another big shot, who isKenji Osano see Wikipedia if you want, who were called 'fixer'.
Once upon a time in Japan, when still takeover was a rarest thing, there was a man who buys millions of shares of Seibu Railway Company stakes, whose name was Hideki Yokoi-again if you were interested, you can see him in Wikipedia-, who was called 'King of takeover'. Yoshiaki Tsutsumi, head of Seibu Group, didn't want him to buy his company's shares, but many shares went to his hand- a hand of a King of takeover. Then he asked fixer to settle the matter. Mr Yokoi and Mr Tsutsumi met in some place where Fixer is in, Mr Tsutsmi was able to buy them back paying several million dollars instead.
Once upon a time in Japan, there was a Fixer for this kind of turmoil- takeover attempt of a company by a King of takeover. Now, no..
Tokyo District Court will decide whether it was OK for issuing new stakes such a large amount in an attempt to keep manegerial power over a company which has been under someone's fierce attempt to acquire. But I think this is a sheer legal matter, I think it's illegal to launch a new stakes, it is against the law, though it might not be agaist the morality of conformists.
Internet entrepreneur Mr Horie -nicknamed as Horiemon has been conducting his takeover bid under the law nothing but the law. I hope judges of Tokyo District Court were holders of sheer jurisprudence. I really hope so.
In late 80s, we had heard the news that the school was about to close-down because of the difficulties of running a school business, then it had been about to close...Later when I lived with her for one year, she told me in a bed that she decided to go to see Ryoichi Sasakawa-visit Wikipedia if you are interested-. He was well-known especially in the role in China at war, he collected tens of millions of wealth from Chinese households and sent to Japan, he was a head of Sasakawa organisation, later this fund was called M-fund (mysterious fund? I think).
She went to see him in his Tokyo home with wearing very expensive kimono( 30 thousand dollars )and asked him to help her financially over running the school. She must be just in early thirties, she must have been very beautiful...When she met him he was swinging a Japanese sword .. that impressed her a lot according to her.
Anyway by her asking, the school were survived and still the school was standing on the infamous hill where many drop-outs can enter.
There's another big shot, who isKenji Osano see Wikipedia if you want, who were called 'fixer'.
Once upon a time in Japan, when still takeover was a rarest thing, there was a man who buys millions of shares of Seibu Railway Company stakes, whose name was Hideki Yokoi-again if you were interested, you can see him in Wikipedia-, who was called 'King of takeover'. Yoshiaki Tsutsumi, head of Seibu Group, didn't want him to buy his company's shares, but many shares went to his hand- a hand of a King of takeover. Then he asked fixer to settle the matter. Mr Yokoi and Mr Tsutsumi met in some place where Fixer is in, Mr Tsutsmi was able to buy them back paying several million dollars instead.
Once upon a time in Japan, there was a Fixer for this kind of turmoil- takeover attempt of a company by a King of takeover. Now, no..
Tokyo District Court will decide whether it was OK for issuing new stakes such a large amount in an attempt to keep manegerial power over a company which has been under someone's fierce attempt to acquire. But I think this is a sheer legal matter, I think it's illegal to launch a new stakes, it is against the law, though it might not be agaist the morality of conformists.
Internet entrepreneur Mr Horie -nicknamed as Horiemon has been conducting his takeover bid under the law nothing but the law. I hope judges of Tokyo District Court were holders of sheer jurisprudence. I really hope so.
Much Ado About Japan II
Tokyo Public Prosecutor's Office
This is the strongest investigation body in Japan. Japanese version of FBI and Attoney General combined. Versus Japan's one of the richest man, Mr Tsutsumi, head of the Seibu group. He was a richest man in the world in 1990, ranked always within top 10 in FORTUNE at that time.
His company sold his company's shares 72.64 million stocks to his many many business partners - 72 companies from August 17th to September 29th. In Japan's system, it is common to hold each other's shares to back their financial risks or help mutually, etc. It is one of a merchandising tradition, so 72 companies bought all those stocks as they are recommended.
On the 13th of October, Mr Tsutsumi, head of the Seibu group abruptly resigned saying the company made a false statement on who holds the company's stocks, which itself is not a very serious matter. The matter was his resignation. That caused landsliding falling of Seibu stocks and resulting in total loss of 650 million dollars of its face value. Therefore 72 companies lost the same assets at one night.
The company had been reluctant to pay them back, saying these transactions were held under normal procedure, there was no proof of insider tradings. Subsequently that statement bought bad reputations. Some companies tried to sue that company.
On the 13th of January, in the end the Tokyo public prosecuter's office announced that they will make allegation on these transaction as an illegal insider tradings in corporation with National Tax Bureau.
Abruptly that company changed attitude thereafter and by the 29th of January, Seibu company had agreed to make up for all the losses caused as a result of these share tradings. All the losses made by all 72 companies.
Unfortunately it was not all the losses. Individual shareholders also lost their face value by this time's abrupt resignation, which count up to 3.5 million dollars. They are fighting with the company. But anyway, 650 millions were returned.
This is the strongest investigation body in Japan. Japanese version of FBI and Attoney General combined. Versus Japan's one of the richest man, Mr Tsutsumi, head of the Seibu group. He was a richest man in the world in 1990, ranked always within top 10 in FORTUNE at that time.
His company sold his company's shares 72.64 million stocks to his many many business partners - 72 companies from August 17th to September 29th. In Japan's system, it is common to hold each other's shares to back their financial risks or help mutually, etc. It is one of a merchandising tradition, so 72 companies bought all those stocks as they are recommended.
On the 13th of October, Mr Tsutsumi, head of the Seibu group abruptly resigned saying the company made a false statement on who holds the company's stocks, which itself is not a very serious matter. The matter was his resignation. That caused landsliding falling of Seibu stocks and resulting in total loss of 650 million dollars of its face value. Therefore 72 companies lost the same assets at one night.
The company had been reluctant to pay them back, saying these transactions were held under normal procedure, there was no proof of insider tradings. Subsequently that statement bought bad reputations. Some companies tried to sue that company.
On the 13th of January, in the end the Tokyo public prosecuter's office announced that they will make allegation on these transaction as an illegal insider tradings in corporation with National Tax Bureau.
Abruptly that company changed attitude thereafter and by the 29th of January, Seibu company had agreed to make up for all the losses caused as a result of these share tradings. All the losses made by all 72 companies.
Unfortunately it was not all the losses. Individual shareholders also lost their face value by this time's abrupt resignation, which count up to 3.5 million dollars. They are fighting with the company. But anyway, 650 millions were returned.
Much Ado About Japan
The relationship between Lehman Brothers and Japan is indeed old. In Russo-Japan war, that company accepted Japan's war bond and indirectly supported Japan. Now their subsidiary in Japan is located at the midst of Tokyo foreign business district, Roppongi Hills.
They issued $800 million CB( convertible bond ) which can be convertible to stocks to buy stocks of one of media giants, Fuji TV group. Now Lehman Brother's share is 40%. Fuji TV group owns 25% of their stocks themselves.
Then abruptly Fuji TV announced issuing 47.2 million new stocks, which is amazingly enormous. Because current stocks are 32.8 million stocks. Indeed they intend to issue 1.4 times as large as current stocks.
Their attempt to issue new stocks such a large scale is unlawful and agaist market principle, actually lots of other ordinary stockholders will suffer a lot. Their poison pill had to be written down in their company terms so that anyone could see, but of course there were no such terms found in their terms, besides in the case of issuing lots of new stocks, those who accept their new stocks must be the third party, but actually the group themselves accept their new stocks, their white knights are indeed themselves. Indeed unhealthy.
Such measures as issuing new stocks as a counter measure to protect control over the company management ought not to be allowed. The face value of stocks will be downward, and invite further downfall of corporate management, governance, overall moral hazard in addition, many many bad impact on normal transaction of stock dealers. These are out of the question.
We are not still sure how Tokyo District Court will judge, but if admitted, it would mean nothing but the end of healthy capitalism. It will be a dangerous current to a total downfall of overall economy.
Indeed another fund which holds 10%-15% share of Fuji TV criticised this movement of new stock issue as ignoring the interest of other invester, yes, they are right.
I hope Lehman Brothers will play a decisive role over the issue, I expect that.
They issued $800 million CB( convertible bond ) which can be convertible to stocks to buy stocks of one of media giants, Fuji TV group. Now Lehman Brother's share is 40%. Fuji TV group owns 25% of their stocks themselves.
Then abruptly Fuji TV announced issuing 47.2 million new stocks, which is amazingly enormous. Because current stocks are 32.8 million stocks. Indeed they intend to issue 1.4 times as large as current stocks.
Their attempt to issue new stocks such a large scale is unlawful and agaist market principle, actually lots of other ordinary stockholders will suffer a lot. Their poison pill had to be written down in their company terms so that anyone could see, but of course there were no such terms found in their terms, besides in the case of issuing lots of new stocks, those who accept their new stocks must be the third party, but actually the group themselves accept their new stocks, their white knights are indeed themselves. Indeed unhealthy.
Such measures as issuing new stocks as a counter measure to protect control over the company management ought not to be allowed. The face value of stocks will be downward, and invite further downfall of corporate management, governance, overall moral hazard in addition, many many bad impact on normal transaction of stock dealers. These are out of the question.
We are not still sure how Tokyo District Court will judge, but if admitted, it would mean nothing but the end of healthy capitalism. It will be a dangerous current to a total downfall of overall economy.
Indeed another fund which holds 10%-15% share of Fuji TV criticised this movement of new stock issue as ignoring the interest of other invester, yes, they are right.
I hope Lehman Brothers will play a decisive role over the issue, I expect that.
Extra-marital Relationship
This journal entry is especially written for myself to confirm and justify my life.
For the first time I married at the age of 31 a Filipina woman, she is 1 year senior to me. At the time of our marriage, she had already been in Japan for about 10 years and lived in many cities, 10 cities I think. Because of the immigration law which only allowed her to stay 6 months each time, she had to go back to her country repeatedly. Actually she knew much more than I did when it comes to Japan's cities. She just fed up with repeating go home and come back during 10 years stay and as is almost always the same as other Filipinas and other Asian women, she had eagerly wanted to marry a young prosperous Japanese guy like me. She asked me to marry her again and again and again, then finally I admitted getting married to her.
After just 1 year and 3 month of our marriage, we separated. Later she went to the United States and after more than 5 years or so now she got a green card two years ago. Now she lives near Cisco.
6 month after we separated, I got married another woman. She is Japanese. 3 years junior to me. Our relationship continued just 2 years and 3 months, then we separated again.
1 year after our separation, I found another woman, 4 years senior to me, divorced once in the past. We lived together about 1 year or so, that time not married and again separated.
More than 5 years have past since I started living by myself, but of course I've got girlfriends - now 3 I think. When I want to see, I call one of them. Oftentimes one of them makes a phone call, then I go to see the one who called me.
Especially in the case of second one, I was very depressed soon after she left me. I wanted to divorce her soon after she left, but things were not so easy at that time. Money matter. She requested me to pay alimony at least $30000.
At that time I thought it was not my fault. Because I was not only the one who had committed an extra-marital relationship, but she was also the one.
For more than five years I've paid maintenance for her usually $500-$700. Of course no relationship anymore, just sending money in her account. And that makes me prevent seeking for another marriage, because for another marriage it requires money a lot.
I guess for women marriage means almost everything, while it means for a man just a part of our life. The importance of marriage is different between women and men. So...
Mr johndiii, because you had spent 20 years in marriage, you have to prepare for huge amount of alimony. Whatever the cause of divorce, men have to take responsibity for their part. On the first marriage, no, on the second marriage, yes, I had an extra-marital relatonship, but the problem was that I failed to pay attention to her, give her a satisfaction in several meanings - physically, financially, which eventually led to her leaving my place for good.
So I believe an extra-marital relationship itself is not bad. What I think is bad is I didn't take care of her, I lost interest on her and our relationship. I think it's not bad to have two or three extra-marital relationships just to keep a marital relationship good. Both men and women are horny, but men tend to disperse their interest to more than two, while women are more concentrating only one.
I reflect if only I had a balance between extra-marital and marital relationship, I didn't have to have an extra burden in my life.
Anyhow, I divorced. Right now, I have been getting along with three women without letting them known the existence of others, I mean striking a balance. So far no problem.
Your wife left your house, I think you don't have to feel specifically particular about legal procedure - divorce, unless you have someone who you want to have a serious relationship including marriage with right now, just remind you that in my case, soon after I divorced, I went to see then my 4 year older girlfriend- actually she wanted me to divorce and I did it quickly replying her request. She said she has no benefit for a marriage to me, rather she wants to enjoy being single instead. She wanted to enjoy with nice guys as many as possible. Yeah, yes I admit. That is also pleasurable part of our life.
For the first time I married at the age of 31 a Filipina woman, she is 1 year senior to me. At the time of our marriage, she had already been in Japan for about 10 years and lived in many cities, 10 cities I think. Because of the immigration law which only allowed her to stay 6 months each time, she had to go back to her country repeatedly. Actually she knew much more than I did when it comes to Japan's cities. She just fed up with repeating go home and come back during 10 years stay and as is almost always the same as other Filipinas and other Asian women, she had eagerly wanted to marry a young prosperous Japanese guy like me. She asked me to marry her again and again and again, then finally I admitted getting married to her.
After just 1 year and 3 month of our marriage, we separated. Later she went to the United States and after more than 5 years or so now she got a green card two years ago. Now she lives near Cisco.
6 month after we separated, I got married another woman. She is Japanese. 3 years junior to me. Our relationship continued just 2 years and 3 months, then we separated again.
1 year after our separation, I found another woman, 4 years senior to me, divorced once in the past. We lived together about 1 year or so, that time not married and again separated.
More than 5 years have past since I started living by myself, but of course I've got girlfriends - now 3 I think. When I want to see, I call one of them. Oftentimes one of them makes a phone call, then I go to see the one who called me.
Especially in the case of second one, I was very depressed soon after she left me. I wanted to divorce her soon after she left, but things were not so easy at that time. Money matter. She requested me to pay alimony at least $30000.
At that time I thought it was not my fault. Because I was not only the one who had committed an extra-marital relationship, but she was also the one.
For more than five years I've paid maintenance for her usually $500-$700. Of course no relationship anymore, just sending money in her account. And that makes me prevent seeking for another marriage, because for another marriage it requires money a lot.
I guess for women marriage means almost everything, while it means for a man just a part of our life. The importance of marriage is different between women and men. So...
Mr johndiii, because you had spent 20 years in marriage, you have to prepare for huge amount of alimony. Whatever the cause of divorce, men have to take responsibity for their part. On the first marriage, no, on the second marriage, yes, I had an extra-marital relatonship, but the problem was that I failed to pay attention to her, give her a satisfaction in several meanings - physically, financially, which eventually led to her leaving my place for good.
So I believe an extra-marital relationship itself is not bad. What I think is bad is I didn't take care of her, I lost interest on her and our relationship. I think it's not bad to have two or three extra-marital relationships just to keep a marital relationship good. Both men and women are horny, but men tend to disperse their interest to more than two, while women are more concentrating only one.
I reflect if only I had a balance between extra-marital and marital relationship, I didn't have to have an extra burden in my life.
Anyhow, I divorced. Right now, I have been getting along with three women without letting them known the existence of others, I mean striking a balance. So far no problem.
Your wife left your house, I think you don't have to feel specifically particular about legal procedure - divorce, unless you have someone who you want to have a serious relationship including marriage with right now, just remind you that in my case, soon after I divorced, I went to see then my 4 year older girlfriend- actually she wanted me to divorce and I did it quickly replying her request. She said she has no benefit for a marriage to me, rather she wants to enjoy being single instead. She wanted to enjoy with nice guys as many as possible. Yeah, yes I admit. That is also pleasurable part of our life.
Homo Violence
For the scientists it was a real mystery why there were not any links between current human beings and primates, there would be huge chasms between these two species.
They say current humans are so independent from the other species of the animals.
I assume that current human beings must have annihilated almost all kin species to humans therefore, no related species could be found.
I mean we Homo sapiens are better call ourselves Homo violence, if we really did away with our related kins.
They say current humans are so independent from the other species of the animals.
I assume that current human beings must have annihilated almost all kin species to humans therefore, no related species could be found.
I mean we Homo sapiens are better call ourselves Homo violence, if we really did away with our related kins.
On Marriage
Today is holiday. Of course not in America, here in Japan, it is the day for the newly coming-of-age.
Back in my twenties, I just time slipped...I was an extremely hard worker, I usually spent 7~8 hours reading books in my study and in the library. I intended to go to school in America, actually I went later but at that time, I was just eager to go...
At that time, I had been in good relationship with a pretty woman, whom I had been associated with for more than five years, and both exchanged an oath to each other to go to the graduate school in America to continue our study, she was a law student at an undergraduate level, while I was an economic major, both're just hoping to keep on our relationship better and we had just believed we could continue our relationship till the end of time, but the reality faced in front of us.
For some reason or other, she decided not to go overseas to keep on studying at the graduate shcool in America, instead she decided to start working as a business consultant in Tokyo's firm. Till that time, I saved about $10,000 for the starter to go overseas and start studying in America, but of course I was unable to pay for her to go overseas and study at the same school together.
I said good bye to her, leaving the word I'd never ask you to see me anymore, at age 25 I left Japan for America.
Since then for 18 years, I never met her. I had heard from her mother she had married at age 27 and had a kid after I came back from America when I was at age 31, two years had already passed when I heard about her marriage.
Soon after I married another woman at age 31. Whoever I married, whoever I loved, I would never forget the days I spent with my first love for more than 5 years, and she will continue to live not only in my memory but at the bottom of my soul, and she will continue to smile at me till the end of time.
Back in my twenties, I just time slipped...I was an extremely hard worker, I usually spent 7~8 hours reading books in my study and in the library. I intended to go to school in America, actually I went later but at that time, I was just eager to go...
At that time, I had been in good relationship with a pretty woman, whom I had been associated with for more than five years, and both exchanged an oath to each other to go to the graduate school in America to continue our study, she was a law student at an undergraduate level, while I was an economic major, both're just hoping to keep on our relationship better and we had just believed we could continue our relationship till the end of time, but the reality faced in front of us.
For some reason or other, she decided not to go overseas to keep on studying at the graduate shcool in America, instead she decided to start working as a business consultant in Tokyo's firm. Till that time, I saved about $10,000 for the starter to go overseas and start studying in America, but of course I was unable to pay for her to go overseas and study at the same school together.
I said good bye to her, leaving the word I'd never ask you to see me anymore, at age 25 I left Japan for America.
Since then for 18 years, I never met her. I had heard from her mother she had married at age 27 and had a kid after I came back from America when I was at age 31, two years had already passed when I heard about her marriage.
Soon after I married another woman at age 31. Whoever I married, whoever I loved, I would never forget the days I spent with my first love for more than 5 years, and she will continue to live not only in my memory but at the bottom of my soul, and she will continue to smile at me till the end of time.
Value of Life, Again
Yeah...You are right..Life is a biological concept. Everyone has to have a very precious ...bestowed life...It's definitely irreplacable.
Of course everybody knows life starts from the moment of conception and of course many people know that law does not allow unborn baby to hold personhood...I know life is a biological concept, but at the same time life should not be regarded as it is.
In this respect, life should be regarded as social rather than biological concept I may say... I assume you put too much emphasis on life of individual body.
Everybody in a civilised society knows individual unit or body is first and foremost important, should be protected by law at any time. But from time to time it is something that has to be sacrificed in the name of public interest. If one's life were useful for helping other's life more than one, one is worth being sacrificed.
Kamikaze turned out to be a worthless act, but at that time, young people believed its beneficial for saving Japan, Japanese people, the Emperor, even their family. So they did.
If someone's life is useful to save tens of thousands of lives, its worth sacrificing it. Death does not mean anything in itself. Death of serial killer brings about general applause among ordinary citizens.
Death of very good doctor who saved tens of thousands of patients brings about thousands of sad cries around the world.
Death of unborn baby causes sadness in its parents, but they can keep it in their minds till the end of time.
Death of very old people causes sadness among those who know well, but still they can give it up as a matter of natural consequence.
As death means always in many ways. A value of life is not equal and should not be equal, either. And in a natural consequence of this argument, there is a difference in weight of life. So if you believe kinds of communal society is an ideal, its a ricecake drawn in a paper( which means something impossible to exist).
Thus I conclude it's the right form of society for us to be exposed by a very sever struggle of life. And I believe this real world we live materialise this idea. So I want to accept it rather possitively.
... I'm going to write about relationship between civilisation and war later...
Of course everybody knows life starts from the moment of conception and of course many people know that law does not allow unborn baby to hold personhood...I know life is a biological concept, but at the same time life should not be regarded as it is.
In this respect, life should be regarded as social rather than biological concept I may say... I assume you put too much emphasis on life of individual body.
Everybody in a civilised society knows individual unit or body is first and foremost important, should be protected by law at any time. But from time to time it is something that has to be sacrificed in the name of public interest. If one's life were useful for helping other's life more than one, one is worth being sacrificed.
Kamikaze turned out to be a worthless act, but at that time, young people believed its beneficial for saving Japan, Japanese people, the Emperor, even their family. So they did.
If someone's life is useful to save tens of thousands of lives, its worth sacrificing it. Death does not mean anything in itself. Death of serial killer brings about general applause among ordinary citizens.
Death of very good doctor who saved tens of thousands of patients brings about thousands of sad cries around the world.
Death of unborn baby causes sadness in its parents, but they can keep it in their minds till the end of time.
Death of very old people causes sadness among those who know well, but still they can give it up as a matter of natural consequence.
As death means always in many ways. A value of life is not equal and should not be equal, either. And in a natural consequence of this argument, there is a difference in weight of life. So if you believe kinds of communal society is an ideal, its a ricecake drawn in a paper( which means something impossible to exist).
Thus I conclude it's the right form of society for us to be exposed by a very sever struggle of life. And I believe this real world we live materialise this idea. So I want to accept it rather possitively.
... I'm going to write about relationship between civilisation and war later...
A Recognition of History
We've got huge chasm in recognition of history. Partly I should say it's derived from our circumstances we raised up. And partly it's from our background we obtained. I had better write about my recognition of history in general. I am really not sure whether it is only particular to me, or generally thought to be acceptable in Japan.
- There are three revolutionary changes on thoughts in human history. One is Buddha , and the second one is Moses , the last one is Nietzsche( or Marx , if you would like to replace it.)
More than 3500 years ago, we used to have a polytheistic point of view throughout our world. As many Gods as things exist.
It's from a very primitive form of animism to a developed form of polytheism in a certain degree used to be seen in many parts of the Oriental civilisations, in Mesopotamia and in Egypt.
And the one reaching point for its polytheistic view was Buddhism. In Buddhism, any living thing which holds life connects directly to God. At least it was a development from an animistic point of view.
Secondly and most importantly, Moses founded Judaism which has got a monotheistic viewpoint. And foundation of monotheism was the most splendid event human beings ever achieved.
Because by this, people were forced to feel reverent, feared to God, a personalised figure which was called in proper noun.
The third one was an advent of secular world. When Nietzsche proclaimed 'Gott ist tot', which means advent of age human beings decide how they want to live.
Some people liked to call this age the age of existentialism, while the others didn't want to call it.
whatever the name of age we now live, more and more we live in a secular society . Here I just wanted to state my personal standpoint toward history. Now I leave it to your judgement
. ....The United Nations is one of the most intricate form the United States of America ever has. .... There would be no reason to be found for China to invade Taiwan. And also, remember it's difficult to invade island country ....
- There are three revolutionary changes on thoughts in human history. One is Buddha , and the second one is Moses , the last one is Nietzsche( or Marx , if you would like to replace it.)
More than 3500 years ago, we used to have a polytheistic point of view throughout our world. As many Gods as things exist.
It's from a very primitive form of animism to a developed form of polytheism in a certain degree used to be seen in many parts of the Oriental civilisations, in Mesopotamia and in Egypt.
And the one reaching point for its polytheistic view was Buddhism. In Buddhism, any living thing which holds life connects directly to God. At least it was a development from an animistic point of view.
Secondly and most importantly, Moses founded Judaism which has got a monotheistic viewpoint. And foundation of monotheism was the most splendid event human beings ever achieved.
Because by this, people were forced to feel reverent, feared to God, a personalised figure which was called in proper noun.
The third one was an advent of secular world. When Nietzsche proclaimed 'Gott ist tot', which means advent of age human beings decide how they want to live.
Some people liked to call this age the age of existentialism, while the others didn't want to call it.
whatever the name of age we now live, more and more we live in a secular society . Here I just wanted to state my personal standpoint toward history. Now I leave it to your judgement
. ....The United Nations is one of the most intricate form the United States of America ever has. .... There would be no reason to be found for China to invade Taiwan. And also, remember it's difficult to invade island country ....
Value of Life
Rousseau tells us there are two births for us.
..One is a delivery and the second birth is after we aquire Self usually after we come of age.
Life ought to be a biological concept at any moment, however, according to various phases life faces, as a matter of fact the value of life varies.
Biologically life is equal, but the value of it differs according to stages of development in individual life. Again life is a social concept, though ought to be a biological concept in theory, in ideal. So only after the second birth we are bestowed another value in our life. Not before.
Among aborted 1.6 millon, we might have found another Einstein, as well as another Hitler. Nobody can tell at the time of abortion, what would become of aborted child in their future, if they are delivered.
I mean we might have killed another Einstein, but at the same time we might have killed another Hitler. In this case we had done it most succesfully. Nipped in the bud.
That's all what we could say, which neither deter nor encourage our development.
Our standpoint in society is that we can't say anything about something that cannot predict at the time done something definitive.
Nothing can change its uncertainty.
However I agree. we hope we shall have a better society where we don't have to abort our babies any more.
..One is a delivery and the second birth is after we aquire Self usually after we come of age.
Life ought to be a biological concept at any moment, however, according to various phases life faces, as a matter of fact the value of life varies.
Biologically life is equal, but the value of it differs according to stages of development in individual life. Again life is a social concept, though ought to be a biological concept in theory, in ideal. So only after the second birth we are bestowed another value in our life. Not before.
Among aborted 1.6 millon, we might have found another Einstein, as well as another Hitler. Nobody can tell at the time of abortion, what would become of aborted child in their future, if they are delivered.
I mean we might have killed another Einstein, but at the same time we might have killed another Hitler. In this case we had done it most succesfully. Nipped in the bud.
That's all what we could say, which neither deter nor encourage our development.
Our standpoint in society is that we can't say anything about something that cannot predict at the time done something definitive.
Nothing can change its uncertainty.
However I agree. we hope we shall have a better society where we don't have to abort our babies any more.
America Would Not Attack Iran
Iran is needless to say former Persia. There are three reasons why America won't attack Iran.
The first. -Iranians are not Arabian descents. They are one of Indo-European Peoples. I mean they are racially more close to Europeans. They are not Semites.
The second. -They liberated Jews under Babylonian Capture and allowed them to go back to Jerusalem and again allowed to build a palace once burned by the fire of Nebkadenezaar, King of Babylonia, at the downfall of the Holy Land.
So Jews were very appreciated that. And still I believe Jewish people would never forget favours once gotten by Persian King Cyrus (Founder of Persian Empire which defeated Babylonia).
The third one... Read the Book of Ester( Old Testament). Jewish people were never treated badly in Persia. Certainly they were about to be treated badly but thanks to Mordekai and Ester, Jewish people were well off. ( Later Ester became Queen of Persian King.)
Jewish people have historically long been conflicting with Arabians( especially Syrians, not with Egyptians) and Palestinians( they came from islands in the Mediterranean Sea.) But not with any people from Persia. If America is a strong ally of Israel, they would not attack Iran and Islaelites would not encourage Americans to do so.
The first. -Iranians are not Arabian descents. They are one of Indo-European Peoples. I mean they are racially more close to Europeans. They are not Semites.
The second. -They liberated Jews under Babylonian Capture and allowed them to go back to Jerusalem and again allowed to build a palace once burned by the fire of Nebkadenezaar, King of Babylonia, at the downfall of the Holy Land.
So Jews were very appreciated that. And still I believe Jewish people would never forget favours once gotten by Persian King Cyrus (Founder of Persian Empire which defeated Babylonia).
The third one... Read the Book of Ester( Old Testament). Jewish people were never treated badly in Persia. Certainly they were about to be treated badly but thanks to Mordekai and Ester, Jewish people were well off. ( Later Ester became Queen of Persian King.)
Jewish people have historically long been conflicting with Arabians( especially Syrians, not with Egyptians) and Palestinians( they came from islands in the Mediterranean Sea.) But not with any people from Persia. If America is a strong ally of Israel, they would not attack Iran and Islaelites would not encourage Americans to do so.
Jewish Influence in US Politics
It might be a little bit disturbing, though, it is true that Israel is affecting US policy making decision very much.
Britain gave both Palestinian and Israelites guaranty to build their own country at the same place. Israel realised their dream in the Promised Land. But their Promised Land was not only Palestina. Their land lies from Mesopotamia to Palestina. The land right now they form is just a part of it.
Remember Abraham came from Ur, centre of Mesopotamia. So they inevitably hope they will expand their territory eastward.
US invasion against Iraq was just a tip of the first step realisation of their (Jewish people's) dream. The continuation of the Bush Administration means also that of dominance in Jewish capital in the US.
More than 50% of American people were opposing US invasion in Iraq, but he did it. And I believe under the strong influence of Jewish capital in America, he did it.
Jewish people are not in front in public. But they run multi-national corporations and very rich, and they are definitely strongly affecting the crucial decision making process in the Bush Administration.
....In the international political scene, we might lose sight of how real politics work if we saw only things superficially. For example, before the war in Iraq, US wanted to confirm they have WMD or not. UN inspecter couldn't find WMD, THEREFORE, US decided to invade Iraq. Existence of WMD only deters invasion. It never becomes an excuse to invade the land.
Britain gave both Palestinian and Israelites guaranty to build their own country at the same place. Israel realised their dream in the Promised Land. But their Promised Land was not only Palestina. Their land lies from Mesopotamia to Palestina. The land right now they form is just a part of it.
Remember Abraham came from Ur, centre of Mesopotamia. So they inevitably hope they will expand their territory eastward.
US invasion against Iraq was just a tip of the first step realisation of their (Jewish people's) dream. The continuation of the Bush Administration means also that of dominance in Jewish capital in the US.
More than 50% of American people were opposing US invasion in Iraq, but he did it. And I believe under the strong influence of Jewish capital in America, he did it.
Jewish people are not in front in public. But they run multi-national corporations and very rich, and they are definitely strongly affecting the crucial decision making process in the Bush Administration.
....In the international political scene, we might lose sight of how real politics work if we saw only things superficially. For example, before the war in Iraq, US wanted to confirm they have WMD or not. UN inspecter couldn't find WMD, THEREFORE, US decided to invade Iraq. Existence of WMD only deters invasion. It never becomes an excuse to invade the land.
On Adoption
I was reading lots of comments on Bush's "flip-floping" article. While doing so, I noticed three very controversial notions appear in someone's comments. -adoption, artificial insemination, and kids from previous marriage.
I personally raised up in two biological parents. Around me, I know some people who are raised up in the different environs as I, and I know a couple of problems that they encounter in their lives.
What I'm going to write down is NOT meant to harm or undermine them. Just remind it in mind...
As everybody already well know that "adoption" itself in system and in reality contains two opposite value-should I say it's ambivalent. Adopted children are usually either those who given up from their parent(s) or left from one or both of decease, under the circumstances those children themselves didn't want to be so. There are some inevitable reasons related to this. So they have to be raised by someone and it's very necessary thing.
Negative aspects are because they are going to live in other's household, they are very much likely to face some difficulties. In case their fosters are very descent and people of integrity, we don't think about the risks any more. If one of their fosters are (which is worst of all evils) paedophiles, what would occur? If one of their fosters are homosexuals, what would occur?
At any country in all times "paedophilia" is a very serious crime, which often causes its victims to have psychiatric problems later on their lives.
What about "homosexuality"?, which is not regarded as crime in many countries. homosexuality between same sex oriented people is just fine, but if some homosexuals are forced to have sex with straights, what do you think it's acceptable?
I believe so-called "same sex marriage" incur one of worst possibilities contains single or both factors mentioned above.
In case of artifitial insemination, since the children don't know who their biological fathers are, and don't live with their fathers, the problems similar to adoption are likely to occur.
On kids from previous relationship too, the situations are the same.
If children cannot choose their parents and parents can choose their children, it's a miserable thing. Except for an inevitable situations( accidental decease of parents, etc.), we all are responsible for our biological child....which is needless to say...though.
I personally raised up in two biological parents. Around me, I know some people who are raised up in the different environs as I, and I know a couple of problems that they encounter in their lives.
What I'm going to write down is NOT meant to harm or undermine them. Just remind it in mind...
As everybody already well know that "adoption" itself in system and in reality contains two opposite value-should I say it's ambivalent. Adopted children are usually either those who given up from their parent(s) or left from one or both of decease, under the circumstances those children themselves didn't want to be so. There are some inevitable reasons related to this. So they have to be raised by someone and it's very necessary thing.
Negative aspects are because they are going to live in other's household, they are very much likely to face some difficulties. In case their fosters are very descent and people of integrity, we don't think about the risks any more. If one of their fosters are (which is worst of all evils) paedophiles, what would occur? If one of their fosters are homosexuals, what would occur?
At any country in all times "paedophilia" is a very serious crime, which often causes its victims to have psychiatric problems later on their lives.
What about "homosexuality"?, which is not regarded as crime in many countries. homosexuality between same sex oriented people is just fine, but if some homosexuals are forced to have sex with straights, what do you think it's acceptable?
I believe so-called "same sex marriage" incur one of worst possibilities contains single or both factors mentioned above.
In case of artifitial insemination, since the children don't know who their biological fathers are, and don't live with their fathers, the problems similar to adoption are likely to occur.
On kids from previous relationship too, the situations are the same.
If children cannot choose their parents and parents can choose their children, it's a miserable thing. Except for an inevitable situations( accidental decease of parents, etc.), we all are responsible for our biological child....which is needless to say...though.
The Eve -Before Dawn
II - Before Dawn
When the flowers submerged deep into being which exists in dried up hairs of head brought about the praise of light for us with noisy crowdsTo the houses of daughters who have had various spores on their bodiesFootsteps of young workers who make an offer for help
Several feelings of touch by Gods in heaven that approve such everythingIn short pigs love a treePraise songs for Christmas whips these badly And again the skins of our hands fell into being I tried to laugh at
With some reason or other it seems to look white for meWomen's bosoms laughing at the lightIn front of me, without time to breathe Cats go up
In sequence a car begins to moveWhen the donkies that feed smoke and live in the mist on the road with harsh trees as if they are dried ink in the penBecause that brought the biggest relish for me, in consequence women eat worms in their houses
It's like an odour under the armpitThen the lights in the houses are put off The reason black colour makes yellow colour be conspicuous isSeems a cobra beside the hedge is licking my hands Trees are green
Why here is a road before a railway stationPeople take such as these living feet to the tower It's easy though of women to be pregnant in the book's numerous pagesBeing unable to recover from tiredness When I drank up...
When I drank up the canned mineral there soon I find the shape that has been openning the universeIron chains build the gate a bunch of angels are come off their wingsAlong with me are an eye of a woman and the piece of her legs bully meWere I not told I knowFor iron to start eating from papers a bunch of leathers are destroying a scale a footstep in Amazon is always the first
The bullets from the helicopterAlways I pretend to see them when I eat clamsDream of rhino in the water of the river that bears fatigue starts giving off the light soon When I know their eyes I dance and break their cornsThat the breathing of Hercules spreads a piece of papers from the darkness of the universe from ancient times to nowIt means adversary by the Devil against God the sound of typewriter my eyes that imagine from various forms of women tomorrow
Soon the morning comesSpin makes the use of colour pencils the drops of the eyes flow never forgive itThe world of geology is closed women's eyes opened the everything adorned the eyes seems to know in their feet
But the day I saw armadilo in my dreamIt seems I am about to know the lactose like camels that means a womanSo it seems as if it were like a magicInquery bears various naughty deedsDandy murmering seems to have the road that want the slopeThe grasp of story makes the development of mountains easier, the pond that see it has been losing its waterA flock of birds turn around and go to the east in sequenceI don't know from when but seem unable to tellYet then since Jona in rivers uses the petIt is noxious of me the feeling of delight the mistery bearsThe woman said so these few daysBecause she opened her eyes in her hairstyle -ponytailSeems I am here and a bike keeps on running why not enjoy days of running across the hellYet, certainly because the bossom of that woman is a cry of animalsThough it's fine story I suck though my mouth the eye of figs it sucks though I grip It is interesting that is better than the ones of a woman whose head is big and no contentsThe man saying so in the rice fieldsSeems trying to catch and kill eelsJust in time the fighter planes go aroundSeems to cut a head in sequence is namely as followsSince no meal tomorrow on the matt because I found the evening the moon appears in simply mountains I come to look for a bunch of these men uneasy to know we have to watch againover the tent a flock of sheep seeking for water in riverIt seems they come somewhere they ask where the face of big man of birds flying over the skyThe fact that the face may flyis similar to the fact that it is useless for you to try to stop for nothing to stick
Such these arebecause the shooting stars like bullets in the bulls in a ranchI wonder why I seem to start learning the fellows that inspire
Even though I am looking down our school building thusA woman's legs a little bit distinguished flying in my big sky Seems between mountains in the left and rivers in the right my way to live can be foundThe preys I aimed at here running away moreMy rifle is not like thatBecause the footsteps of a woman I saw in the snowfall of Himalayas presumesIt is not permissableAnyway flowersAre looking down the skies spectacularly, so it is no way for me to try to compare such various events with a good night sleep of virginsThe pen's needle that run on the figure boardIs the same as to be vacant of windmills even the clock can't see soSince it is not applicable to me, anyone that knows the secret of girls is similar to the mountain clibming party in search of Sascatch primates that always see mists in the wind dare not try to run a risk, that's me Then a cry in the blood comes out of the arms in my right leg start opearating slowlyOr the height limit of bridge of friends that drops day and night had sufferred me
Being reevaluate me soon in the dayI feel so mysterious as the cutting edge of handkerchief appears to be painted in blood By the way as I know itSince nothing other than a woman in front of a mirror seems to be conscious of me so beautifully
In the moment I know the face of men that got wet housewives in nude on the shinning pacific ocean performedThings reached in these stages the battle makes platoons in Guadalcanal scattered
Glasses are broken Seems men in suits Are attempting to strungle schools through always passing the narrow path along the streamI was unable to see it the fear, since I like the girls first of allTo hear it is necessary to smell the blood of bossoms of cradles for a woman to walk makes dirty the staircase
Though it's incredibly good feelingI declare I don't know I pull out of the one I stick soonMistresses that are told I am sleeping with a very good feeling from the unexpected places are happy
Because the movement of pen that draws this time from the long animal's life is the length of a neck of swan that gives a woman happinessThis I am afraid to have the days autumn's evening dusk that is not thought to be extraordinarily unusual of me to have snowfall is splendid
Summer days though I'm afaid it is my weakness
Erase ink stop killingEvening dusk is the sunset in the morning that draws on the waterIrons kick out of stonesFuture makes this timeSince astronomy is openIt is summer evening dusk of flying days
Even though I've got to be accused of what I was unaware to have doneVictims dyed foeigners in blackBlack sunset is not allowed to be limited thereAnd I try licking the hands
In variousevening sunset my head is vacant
Yet I goI don't think it's a curse realityAs if birds are pricking on the verge of watersI keep secret on what I ever didI must go in order to leaveIt is more that thoseBecause dead corpse is said to be dirtyAs I sought for vivid woman bodies
Then few days passedMid-winter days that appears the days which do not have to hold my palpitation
Summer sunset I go in time of sunriseThat means 'approval'I hear the sound of clear stream that says go as it isFrom the foot of that mountainWe were supposed to have seen the figure of townsI've got to give up this winter daysBanish summerOn the burning woman's bodiesSince I was about to know extraordinary things
Since everything such these are the concerto on the water I was totally unable to catch up withIt is as good as hotels since it seems to know the collapse it comes to clear by using detergent
In the storm one ship go sailingA mouse diesI wonder he knew this dayI would rather like a small insectI saw the avenue in the bathtub
I passed half of this dayI am here not knowing I always stand in front of us
Sep/20/1980
When the flowers submerged deep into being which exists in dried up hairs of head brought about the praise of light for us with noisy crowdsTo the houses of daughters who have had various spores on their bodiesFootsteps of young workers who make an offer for help
Several feelings of touch by Gods in heaven that approve such everythingIn short pigs love a treePraise songs for Christmas whips these badly And again the skins of our hands fell into being I tried to laugh at
With some reason or other it seems to look white for meWomen's bosoms laughing at the lightIn front of me, without time to breathe Cats go up
In sequence a car begins to moveWhen the donkies that feed smoke and live in the mist on the road with harsh trees as if they are dried ink in the penBecause that brought the biggest relish for me, in consequence women eat worms in their houses
It's like an odour under the armpitThen the lights in the houses are put off The reason black colour makes yellow colour be conspicuous isSeems a cobra beside the hedge is licking my hands Trees are green
Why here is a road before a railway stationPeople take such as these living feet to the tower It's easy though of women to be pregnant in the book's numerous pagesBeing unable to recover from tiredness When I drank up...
When I drank up the canned mineral there soon I find the shape that has been openning the universeIron chains build the gate a bunch of angels are come off their wingsAlong with me are an eye of a woman and the piece of her legs bully meWere I not told I knowFor iron to start eating from papers a bunch of leathers are destroying a scale a footstep in Amazon is always the first
The bullets from the helicopterAlways I pretend to see them when I eat clamsDream of rhino in the water of the river that bears fatigue starts giving off the light soon When I know their eyes I dance and break their cornsThat the breathing of Hercules spreads a piece of papers from the darkness of the universe from ancient times to nowIt means adversary by the Devil against God the sound of typewriter my eyes that imagine from various forms of women tomorrow
Soon the morning comesSpin makes the use of colour pencils the drops of the eyes flow never forgive itThe world of geology is closed women's eyes opened the everything adorned the eyes seems to know in their feet
But the day I saw armadilo in my dreamIt seems I am about to know the lactose like camels that means a womanSo it seems as if it were like a magicInquery bears various naughty deedsDandy murmering seems to have the road that want the slopeThe grasp of story makes the development of mountains easier, the pond that see it has been losing its waterA flock of birds turn around and go to the east in sequenceI don't know from when but seem unable to tellYet then since Jona in rivers uses the petIt is noxious of me the feeling of delight the mistery bearsThe woman said so these few daysBecause she opened her eyes in her hairstyle -ponytailSeems I am here and a bike keeps on running why not enjoy days of running across the hellYet, certainly because the bossom of that woman is a cry of animalsThough it's fine story I suck though my mouth the eye of figs it sucks though I grip It is interesting that is better than the ones of a woman whose head is big and no contentsThe man saying so in the rice fieldsSeems trying to catch and kill eelsJust in time the fighter planes go aroundSeems to cut a head in sequence is namely as followsSince no meal tomorrow on the matt because I found the evening the moon appears in simply mountains I come to look for a bunch of these men uneasy to know we have to watch againover the tent a flock of sheep seeking for water in riverIt seems they come somewhere they ask where the face of big man of birds flying over the skyThe fact that the face may flyis similar to the fact that it is useless for you to try to stop for nothing to stick
Such these arebecause the shooting stars like bullets in the bulls in a ranchI wonder why I seem to start learning the fellows that inspire
Even though I am looking down our school building thusA woman's legs a little bit distinguished flying in my big sky Seems between mountains in the left and rivers in the right my way to live can be foundThe preys I aimed at here running away moreMy rifle is not like thatBecause the footsteps of a woman I saw in the snowfall of Himalayas presumesIt is not permissableAnyway flowersAre looking down the skies spectacularly, so it is no way for me to try to compare such various events with a good night sleep of virginsThe pen's needle that run on the figure boardIs the same as to be vacant of windmills even the clock can't see soSince it is not applicable to me, anyone that knows the secret of girls is similar to the mountain clibming party in search of Sascatch primates that always see mists in the wind dare not try to run a risk, that's me Then a cry in the blood comes out of the arms in my right leg start opearating slowlyOr the height limit of bridge of friends that drops day and night had sufferred me
Being reevaluate me soon in the dayI feel so mysterious as the cutting edge of handkerchief appears to be painted in blood By the way as I know itSince nothing other than a woman in front of a mirror seems to be conscious of me so beautifully
In the moment I know the face of men that got wet housewives in nude on the shinning pacific ocean performedThings reached in these stages the battle makes platoons in Guadalcanal scattered
Glasses are broken Seems men in suits Are attempting to strungle schools through always passing the narrow path along the streamI was unable to see it the fear, since I like the girls first of allTo hear it is necessary to smell the blood of bossoms of cradles for a woman to walk makes dirty the staircase
Though it's incredibly good feelingI declare I don't know I pull out of the one I stick soonMistresses that are told I am sleeping with a very good feeling from the unexpected places are happy
Because the movement of pen that draws this time from the long animal's life is the length of a neck of swan that gives a woman happinessThis I am afraid to have the days autumn's evening dusk that is not thought to be extraordinarily unusual of me to have snowfall is splendid
Summer days though I'm afaid it is my weakness
Erase ink stop killingEvening dusk is the sunset in the morning that draws on the waterIrons kick out of stonesFuture makes this timeSince astronomy is openIt is summer evening dusk of flying days
Even though I've got to be accused of what I was unaware to have doneVictims dyed foeigners in blackBlack sunset is not allowed to be limited thereAnd I try licking the hands
In variousevening sunset my head is vacant
Yet I goI don't think it's a curse realityAs if birds are pricking on the verge of watersI keep secret on what I ever didI must go in order to leaveIt is more that thoseBecause dead corpse is said to be dirtyAs I sought for vivid woman bodies
Then few days passedMid-winter days that appears the days which do not have to hold my palpitation
Summer sunset I go in time of sunriseThat means 'approval'I hear the sound of clear stream that says go as it isFrom the foot of that mountainWe were supposed to have seen the figure of townsI've got to give up this winter daysBanish summerOn the burning woman's bodiesSince I was about to know extraordinary things
Since everything such these are the concerto on the water I was totally unable to catch up withIt is as good as hotels since it seems to know the collapse it comes to clear by using detergent
In the storm one ship go sailingA mouse diesI wonder he knew this dayI would rather like a small insectI saw the avenue in the bathtub
I passed half of this dayI am here not knowing I always stand in front of us
Sep/20/1980
The Eve
For what to be is, not to be is, soul, God....for what greens, flowers, rivers, forests are...... No water, my head is dried up. And again, not to be. Music, subsequently again, a woman. .........Sense! Thus my head thinks. And again I am. And again it's music. Subsequently again......One woman. And again I,Never am dubious I am. I am never dubious I am. And again flowers. Once flowers are my foe......it's too small. And again my friend......it's too big. And again it's not to be, that's it. From next to not to be.My mind is too big, because my capacity is too small. My mind is just a being. I respect to be existing. A woman is a child. Because a man is a dog. And again, my head thinks. I think senses. Nobody can write. Therefore I can't write.
Marriage in natural consequences. Meaningless discharge. Excess. Eyes listen to all the voices, a mouth sees some voices, and my head to eat. Because as if a horse sees fire, mist implies an atomosphere, there's no word. Substance that just exists, life derived from inconsistency, Sycamoreleaf tree born from the soul, then again a rotten head. A big pot, this dried up hair that brought me former victory. The acts of butchery is so sore in my eyes, once I loved the perfect darkness, and there's something, the epitaph on the grave that relish having them freezed the hands that's unable to grasp anything.
I had seen in sequence. I thought the fear and remained it in the brain. And again the thought of genius injured my brain, and had me drink fresh tomato juice. I had seen in sequence freely. My world has two, and was completely different. One is I had seen the fate in sequence, and the other is I had seen...... what I understand. Those are a man and God, a sphynx and a lion. Delirium is order, because I had seen it.
What I saw the next was just a vacant hole, glass and lenses, a carriage and light, a brain that thinks nothing, something without eyes, a woman who has got a clot blood from a nose to a head, it's the eve, everyday I stop thinking, everyday I am just the things, power and light, dream and substance, tepid crisis, and crisis, oh my head, I will follow my head!Oh I see, and my head felt. My consciousness keeps on, a treason drowned, a freeman crossed the car, tomorrow night I will see a woman, talk to a guy who has got fish hands.I am never aware of it. I came to be violent extremely.
It's night. A thought never exists. I am the only poet, and a bunch of flowers. A man wearing suits stepped downstairs, heading for the car, as if a bull were slipping away from cliff.
What did I see? I saw everything, the whole things that exist now. Arthur Rimbaud signified me extremely. He is a big being, a human, a bull. That's not connected to Satan. Light is aware of him and being made him mad goes ahead from the deep mountains now. The eve is long.
If everything exists, there's no my nose. Because into my nose I had given a mad screw, a ballpoint pen like a watch, little by little for a long time. If I've got a thought, it's a sound. No news. A primitive figure changes since long ago, a deep light my head is aware of, and it's also a cool drop as if it were pouring. One big needle in the air of wrath as if it were boiling. They've got no chances to get out of it, rule over me, annihilate me, annoy me, oppress the feeling whether summer is better than winter, smashed the wild pig and put them into my eyes, decrease my sense extremely, killed my reason which ordered that I should hate a guy, am I serious that order I should know God, am I me?
I am exhausted. If I had things to see to seek for a console land, an upper arms of a woman, I feel comfort, the bosoms that are her figure are as natural as possible. That's also a life, and an integration. Therefore I feel tired and went to a distant desert, found three stars, admire Magi as Angels, breathed a sacred breath to the Tristar, hate the ones who want to be the art themselves.
I deny. I'm exhausted, totally exhausted. I saw an upgoing shooting star far away.
As if God wants to be God, men want to be men, I am to be me, passing through night and day, hens provide fresh blood at dawn, I will face 33 men with the help of women. When I found them just a breath I hugged women, went to the town of St Lous in the north, gripped the powdered milk, cried as a mad man, she went up to the heaven there, when I saw it she was contained by an angelic light, when my mouth swallowed everything passing through day, night and morning, and again I myself fell into being, day by day saw men, towns, a cross and saw music and I found human culture stands on the roof and the extraterrestrial's real image that has been making a great effort to establish the human symbol in it, and submit to the day to come, is that OK? What I saw at the same time becomes past, present and future over time, over lands, over the sea, over the green eyes, sink into the bottom of the sea, melt with modern science, over men, over women's body, I would rather feel hot than I perspire seeing the dream, melt with humans who live in the vessel of the hands than being harmed by animals that direct the cruel tanks. ______
Someone let him know where I'm heading for. I saw what I saw. I am insisting I saw what we are unable to see. I'm saying I see tanks in the violet, a big face near rthe horizon.
Blood is a piece of buttonWhen I look into it, that draws the archWhen I look down it, that is above the head
Mountains respect the valleyBecause the high is bloodThe low is button
As such I came madAs if I were eatingAs if it were a mad tailIt sprung it dispersed as if eyes were hurt by it
There's no guaranty for Self to be the same as the self being concious at present. As well, time comes over the description and men eat quicksilver in the thermometre. What they eat is as good as decay or my gray matter is, prosecute the fruition in perseverances, and why not prepare for the day to come
Yet, yet it's eve. Tomorrow I will find myself to be sober, oh, witches. ____
Stop. It is necessary for me to take a rest for the day to come. I perspired. I saw the moon. At dawn over the mountains, over the valley, over the dream, pick out a piece of stone, throw it to the tristar far away on the top of the mountain, stars include the night, praise the 'world' we live___in order for us to need a finger to point, direct the clock.
To the bottom of the muddy pondTremendously big stone was thrownDispersed black dyed the stars in the night
Then'Cat's Eyes'Gave off the light suddenly from the utter blackSignified the universe all at once
After thatFrom the Alps MountainsTremendously small piano came out
Don't be afraid ofNow Mrs XXFell off and passed
-Jul/27, 1978
Marriage in natural consequences. Meaningless discharge. Excess. Eyes listen to all the voices, a mouth sees some voices, and my head to eat. Because as if a horse sees fire, mist implies an atomosphere, there's no word. Substance that just exists, life derived from inconsistency, Sycamoreleaf tree born from the soul, then again a rotten head. A big pot, this dried up hair that brought me former victory. The acts of butchery is so sore in my eyes, once I loved the perfect darkness, and there's something, the epitaph on the grave that relish having them freezed the hands that's unable to grasp anything.
I had seen in sequence. I thought the fear and remained it in the brain. And again the thought of genius injured my brain, and had me drink fresh tomato juice. I had seen in sequence freely. My world has two, and was completely different. One is I had seen the fate in sequence, and the other is I had seen...... what I understand. Those are a man and God, a sphynx and a lion. Delirium is order, because I had seen it.
What I saw the next was just a vacant hole, glass and lenses, a carriage and light, a brain that thinks nothing, something without eyes, a woman who has got a clot blood from a nose to a head, it's the eve, everyday I stop thinking, everyday I am just the things, power and light, dream and substance, tepid crisis, and crisis, oh my head, I will follow my head!Oh I see, and my head felt. My consciousness keeps on, a treason drowned, a freeman crossed the car, tomorrow night I will see a woman, talk to a guy who has got fish hands.I am never aware of it. I came to be violent extremely.
It's night. A thought never exists. I am the only poet, and a bunch of flowers. A man wearing suits stepped downstairs, heading for the car, as if a bull were slipping away from cliff.
What did I see? I saw everything, the whole things that exist now. Arthur Rimbaud signified me extremely. He is a big being, a human, a bull. That's not connected to Satan. Light is aware of him and being made him mad goes ahead from the deep mountains now. The eve is long.
If everything exists, there's no my nose. Because into my nose I had given a mad screw, a ballpoint pen like a watch, little by little for a long time. If I've got a thought, it's a sound. No news. A primitive figure changes since long ago, a deep light my head is aware of, and it's also a cool drop as if it were pouring. One big needle in the air of wrath as if it were boiling. They've got no chances to get out of it, rule over me, annihilate me, annoy me, oppress the feeling whether summer is better than winter, smashed the wild pig and put them into my eyes, decrease my sense extremely, killed my reason which ordered that I should hate a guy, am I serious that order I should know God, am I me?
I am exhausted. If I had things to see to seek for a console land, an upper arms of a woman, I feel comfort, the bosoms that are her figure are as natural as possible. That's also a life, and an integration. Therefore I feel tired and went to a distant desert, found three stars, admire Magi as Angels, breathed a sacred breath to the Tristar, hate the ones who want to be the art themselves.
I deny. I'm exhausted, totally exhausted. I saw an upgoing shooting star far away.
As if God wants to be God, men want to be men, I am to be me, passing through night and day, hens provide fresh blood at dawn, I will face 33 men with the help of women. When I found them just a breath I hugged women, went to the town of St Lous in the north, gripped the powdered milk, cried as a mad man, she went up to the heaven there, when I saw it she was contained by an angelic light, when my mouth swallowed everything passing through day, night and morning, and again I myself fell into being, day by day saw men, towns, a cross and saw music and I found human culture stands on the roof and the extraterrestrial's real image that has been making a great effort to establish the human symbol in it, and submit to the day to come, is that OK? What I saw at the same time becomes past, present and future over time, over lands, over the sea, over the green eyes, sink into the bottom of the sea, melt with modern science, over men, over women's body, I would rather feel hot than I perspire seeing the dream, melt with humans who live in the vessel of the hands than being harmed by animals that direct the cruel tanks. ______
Someone let him know where I'm heading for. I saw what I saw. I am insisting I saw what we are unable to see. I'm saying I see tanks in the violet, a big face near rthe horizon.
Blood is a piece of buttonWhen I look into it, that draws the archWhen I look down it, that is above the head
Mountains respect the valleyBecause the high is bloodThe low is button
As such I came madAs if I were eatingAs if it were a mad tailIt sprung it dispersed as if eyes were hurt by it
There's no guaranty for Self to be the same as the self being concious at present. As well, time comes over the description and men eat quicksilver in the thermometre. What they eat is as good as decay or my gray matter is, prosecute the fruition in perseverances, and why not prepare for the day to come
Yet, yet it's eve. Tomorrow I will find myself to be sober, oh, witches. ____
Stop. It is necessary for me to take a rest for the day to come. I perspired. I saw the moon. At dawn over the mountains, over the valley, over the dream, pick out a piece of stone, throw it to the tristar far away on the top of the mountain, stars include the night, praise the 'world' we live___in order for us to need a finger to point, direct the clock.
To the bottom of the muddy pondTremendously big stone was thrownDispersed black dyed the stars in the night
Then'Cat's Eyes'Gave off the light suddenly from the utter blackSignified the universe all at once
After thatFrom the Alps MountainsTremendously small piano came out
Don't be afraid ofNow Mrs XXFell off and passed
-Jul/27, 1978
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